When you have to go out and know what is to come

Waking up to the feeling of nausea is no picnic... it's hard to greet the day let alone step out into...

With the warmer weather here it is important that I continue to find ways of being social and not isolated... as in secluded in my home... tucked away from the world.

One’s mental health needs a comfortable mix... a balance of socialization and solitude in order to be fit... some people with tinnitus and hyperacusis have a hard time with many forms of socialization due to the pain and discomfort it can cause..., which can lead to depression.

I still take my long walks with someone with me... due to the directional issues I have with my hearing, on a good day I may take a short walk on my own just to give me that extra sense of independence...and feeling in some way conquering this disability even in the slightest degree...

It was extremely difficult for me when my hearing was so severe that I had to have someone with me every time I walked out my door. It felt like my independence was ripped from me and with it the qualities of my personal strengths...

It's a slow healing process... There's no certainty I will ever be as I once was... or that my hearing abilities will come back...

I MUST try to find ways to cope with my disability... and that means keeping in mind my physical, mental and emotional state. The shock of it all has worn off... but the battle is far from over... the acoustic trauma which causes a sudden deafness in my left ear... that I had once experience from only specific things... such as glass breaking or two objects hit together... has now overflowed... into a moment of sensitivity that I'm not sure what is causing it to occur...

We know that during my outings to a meeting or appointment something is happening which triggers the deafness that lasts for maybe 5, 6 seconds but I can then be in a controlled environment... like my home and it will continue... which could mean something has caused more damage... or something is causing inflammation in my ear... which until it settles will continue... my next doctor appointment is in Feb. with a specialist who specifically works with these cases. Hoping we will learn more than.

To look at me I look just like you... I don't use a wheelchair, walker or cane. I don't wear a hearing aid or have a seeing eye dog. I have a disability which is called a non-visible disability. So to say, 'Oh you're at work today' doesn't mean I am not still affected by my disability that day. Or to make such a comment as, 'You look great!' meaning if I look good I must be better. That's not how it works with non-visible disabilities.

In fact the person next to you... right now may have a non-visible disability... and you don't even know it.