Medical review of January 14, 2014

Unable to sleep the night before, the tinnitus had already taken its toll on me just like every other day that must begin without any escape from the ringing in my ears. As I approached, the building well known for its crowded and loud atmosphere there was an uneasy feeling within. The bus ride there was bad enough with the bus gearing up, the beeping sounds of lowering and raising the bus along with the slamming doors.

Mind you, to everyone else it is a normal ride but for those with hyperacusis it's hell. Before I even arrived, my head was killing me. I had already taken my pill for the nausea that accompanies my vertigo and by the time I got home would have to take something for a migraine as well.

As I opened the door to enter this unfavorable place to many, people were standing in line waiting to go through security. All I could think was, 'Oh god this is going to be painful.' I stood in line just as everyone is required to do so leaving my Winchester ear protection on and earplugs in. However, that did not stop the sounds of those gathering from getting to me.

Each person walking through had to go through the checkpoint and that blasted beeping wand. By hearing it the fifth time in my wait I dreaded the fact that I would have to remove my protection. Fully understand the importance of it all was not in question. However, the pain to come was a fearful thing being I was already experiencing pain and it was not even my turn yet.

A familiar face greeted me; I quickly put back on my protection and moved forward waiting in line with my order. I see they have changed things around a bit. Those who had orders line D all others the next line. It was a god sent to see the new system for the first time.

Upon approaching the window, I handed the woman my paper and asked that she make a call letting them know I was here. My worker was nice enough to allow me that so I would not have to wait the long for my interview. However, it was long enough to reduce me to tears from the metal detectors, beeping wands, and crowd of people, coming and going in and out of doors this way and that. As soon as she came for me I quickly rushed the door unable to get through it fast enough.

She tried speaking to be but those first few words fell on deaf ears I was in pain, disoriented and just wanted to get as far away from it all as possible. She led me down a hallway to a quiet room, or as quiet as we with tinnitus and hyperacusis call it. Even a quiet room with just two people in it is loud to us. Heating system on, computer on sounds, others would not know but we know well. I took off my Winchester ear protection and left the ear plugs in, tears still fell has the pain had not lessened yet however I tried my best to just focus on her words and gain  my composure.

As I left I felt like someone finally understood, she recognized the importance of my continuing to work and my clear desire to do so and with help gain back my life from all this. This woman did not treat me as if I was just a number but a condition she herself was not familiar with. She was clear in her reasons for the interview and I went away feeling as those it was one more step in my struggle to take back my life. I explained my goals and how I suddenly last April of 2013 became a person with tinnitus and hyperacusis, this disability was not one which would stop any determined, self-driven person to not work but all that was needed was simple accommodations to ease my pain.

When we finished discussing my case she politely let me out the back way so that I wouldn't have to go through all that noise again. The most shocking of the whole experience besides being reduced to tears in pain was the mental review. It seems one would rather find you had a mental issue than a disability few are aware of. What does that say about the world we live in. You will be happy to know a mental disability was ruled out there was no finding for it not finding of physical impairment of work no back pain and anything else they could try to tie to my case. I am in her mind a person struggling to find comfort from tinnitus and hyperacusis, more than willing to work with some limitations and accommodation. Placement with such a disability was the issue.

Thank god it's over the ride home after all of that was quite hard to cope with. A little girl sat with her father slapping his leg over and over and over and over. I took a deep breath and just told myself as I always do, 'You can do this Wendy.'

Tomorrow a doctor’s appointment, following up on the speech concerns I have after noticing it getting worse. Not sure if it's the tinnitus (ringing in the ears) where I just can't hear myself speak causing it or the 'mental confusion' and 'fogginess in my head' from the hyperacusis causing the speech issue.

If you enjoy following my posts on my personal experience 'Living with Hearing Sensitivity' please share, like, follow and subscribe.

Until then, onward and upward! Time to get to work writing! Working on my next examiner article,'The Importance of Guest Blogging'.